The bitter-sweet pill
A change in 'Relationship Status' on facebook was how the devine power above sunk my heart. From "Being in a relationship with" it now states "Engaged to". I made a promise to myself, and I shall keep it, just as I had kept my previous promise of not objecting the split. The promise was, I shall move on as and when she is engaged.
I made 2 promises on Sept 16, 2008, the day she left, the first was as above, and the second, that from that day on, I shall look back to the days we spent as an item with a smile, with no regret, no pain, just a sense of greatfullness that at least we did spend those precious time together, I shall not again shed a sorrow tear for the relationship.
I must admit, being with her is still the happiest days of my life, period. I know, I used IS in the previous sentence. Yes it was intended and no I am not a stalker nor am I in denial.
Just the 2 of us
Now for the mushy part - days spent just with her and when nothing else mattered. Missing flights, driving around KL and Putrajaya, taking in the KL skyline at Luna Bar and the 2 week road trip from Malacca all the way to Langkawi, memories which until today still lingers on fresh, just like it was yesterday.
Those around me knew that whenever she was in town, not even an earthquake could separate us. She being quite possesive made sure of this, and on my part, knowing that these few days she is in town would mean that when she departs, it would be another 6 months or so before seeing each other and this made me cheerish every second with her.
At times we would just sit in front of the idiot-box and just watch chick-flicks together, catch a standup comedy or two and just order room service so we could have time to ourselves, just the 2 of us and no one else.
At other times, when I was at work, she would keep calling once it is 5.30, pestering me to leave work and be with her, once, she even showed up at my office door!
A scar worth the pain
Infatuation, lust, like two rabbits, call it what you may, I still call it love.
A tough guy I might be, but when it comes to love, I am hopeless, not in the sense that I get all weak-knees or sweaty-palmed, but rather, I do tend to throw caution at the wind and go with my heart instead.
I do believe that the mind could do wonderful things, but it is the heart which is true.
To say that I am not feeling the pain all again would be a lie, an insult to the relationship.
However, I know the pain is just temporary, the wound would heal, time will one day patch it up, the scar would remain, a reminder that cupid indeed strucked me and I was indeed in love.
Another chapter begins, on what might be another beautiful, bitter-sweet relationship ;)
Again, thanks for the sweet memories Lin :)
Regards,
Ben Lai
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