Happy Birthday Facebook!!!

A rude awakening

As with any other day, I start my morning via logging on to (in no particular order) facebook, yahoomail, cnn.com, time.com, soccernet.com and malaysiakini.com to get my morning news and updates.

It now a routine, and I have been doing this (facebook excluded) for the past 6 years or more. So yeah, if I don't do it, my day just started on the backfoot and you better not step on my tail today or you shall be facing a very agitated Ben ;)

And today was one of those day you wouldn't want to meet me. OH YES.... one of the above website is guilty of vioalating the sanctity of my morning ritual and no other than FACEBOOK!!!

WHAT THE HECK???

As I am currently in a different time zone ( -8 hours compared to Malaysia) I would usually log onto my account and then click the "Older Posts" button on the bottom left of the page. This is to catch up with the comings and goings in the life of family and friends at home and of course to post some comments on these photo/status/relationship updates.

However, that wasn't the case for today!

I clicked and clicked but the message "No more updates to be displayed" and the last update on show was last updated 4 hours ago which means all updates from the time I went to bed to 4 hours ago mysteriously went missing!

Logging off didn't help, nor did clearing my cookies and by this point I was quite irritated by this. I decided to proceed with viewing the other websites and it was at cnn.com which I finally found out why. Read all about it here.

So what has changed???

1. Instead of having your request tab on the top right corner, it is now on the top left corner, right under the facebook logo. A smart move from the point of a marketer, but in their defence (facebook has been under heavy criticism for being over marketing their user info in the past) I am glad that I no longer see the adverts being displayed quite prominently on my page.

2. All your apps are now also on the top left side of the page instead of the bottom left, which makes sense but again it has drawn certain criticism of trying to hawk it's games and apps. Again, in facebook's defence, you are using the service for free, so bear with whatever they try to sell to you to make more advertising revenue. If you are not interested, just remove these apps, or block it from appearing on your notification. Unless you are willing to pay, stop whinning! :P

3. The privacy and account setting is now prominently displayed on the top right hand side instead of previously hidden. Makes not much of a difference to me, but with the privacy hoo-ha nowadays, it's a pretty CYA step from facebook.

4. The observant ones might notice there is no No. 4 in the accompanying photo :) However there is another change which was not mentioned, the requirement of a "Photo plug-in" to upload photos. This however would not be discussed here and will be in my next thread tomorrow :)

Conclusion

I am not affected at all at the cosmetic improvements of facebook, but more for the delays and interuptions it causes whenever one of these 'upgrades' take place. I have yet to hear about it on facebook, but from experience, when I used to upgrade my MSN, the cotact list disappears! Even then, I just go to my hotmail address book and recover everything and I am still a loyal MSN (now Window Live) user and until that happens to facebook (which I do not have a contacts backup!) I am more than willing to put up with the niggles and glitch once in a while.

And oh ya, Happy Birthday FACEBOOK!

Regards,

Ben Lai

When the inevitable finally came true, how shall I respond?

***This post shall be read with my previous post as when read as a standalone, it might project a different meaning than it was intended to. For the aforementioned post, please click here***

















The bitter-sweet pill

A change in 'Relationship Status' on facebook was how the devine power above sunk my heart. From "Being in a relationship with" it now states "Engaged to". I made a promise to myself, and I shall keep it, just as I had kept my previous promise of not objecting the split. The promise was, I shall move on as and when she is engaged.

I made 2 promises on Sept 16, 2008, the day she left, the first was as above, and the second, that from that day on, I shall look back to the days we spent as an item with a smile, with no regret, no pain, just a sense of greatfullness that at least we did spend those precious time together, I shall not again shed a sorrow tear for the relationship.

I must admit, being with her is still the happiest days of my life, period. I know, I used IS in the previous sentence. Yes it was intended and no I am not a stalker nor am I in denial.

Just the 2 of us

Now for the mushy part - days spent just with her and when nothing else mattered. Missing flights, driving around KL and Putrajaya, taking in the KL skyline at Luna Bar and the 2 week road trip from Malacca all the way to Langkawi, memories which until today still lingers on fresh, just like it was yesterday.

Those around me knew that whenever she was in town, not even an earthquake could separate us. She being quite possesive made sure of this, and on my part, knowing that these few days she is in town would mean that when she departs, it would be another 6 months or so before seeing each other and this made me cheerish every second with her.

At times we would just sit in front of the idiot-box and just watch chick-flicks together, catch a standup comedy or two and just order room service so we could have time to ourselves, just the 2 of us and no one else.

At other times, when I was at work, she would keep calling once it is 5.30, pestering me to leave work and be with her, once, she even showed up at my office door!

A scar worth the pain

Infatuation, lust, like two rabbits, call it what you may, I still call it love.

A tough guy I might be, but when it comes to love, I am hopeless, not in the sense that I get all weak-knees or sweaty-palmed, but rather, I do tend to throw caution at the wind and go with my heart instead.

I do believe that the mind could do wonderful things, but it is the heart which is true.

To say that I am not feeling the pain all again would be a lie, an insult to the relationship.

However, I know the pain is just temporary, the wound would heal, time will one day patch it up, the scar would remain, a reminder that cupid indeed strucked me and I was indeed in love.

Another chapter begins, on what might be another beautiful, bitter-sweet relationship ;)

Again, thanks for the sweet memories Lin :)

Regards,
Ben Lai

I am Dhammarakkhita

Ben in a saffron robe

Suprise suprise. To those who wondered where I disappeared for 2 weeks in December, here's my confession.

I gave up my identity, assumed a new name and lived a life of abstinence for 2 weeks.

Yes, that is indeed Benjamin Lai (and Amy Lai, my sister who paid me a visit).

Shocking to some, but yes, I fulfilled my vow to spend some time in a monastery, a vow which I made when I was 19.

It was a long time coming and I have been putting it off for quite some time because there was just no opening in my life which allowed me to do so. I finally got my chance when I resigned from my job and pretty much had plenty of time in my hand.

I applied and was accepted into the Brickfields Buddhist Mahavihara Novitiate Programme and it was indeed something which I should have done much sooner than later.

Why?

Sometime way back when I was 19, I cheated death.

Some might say what transpired is open to interpretation, but whether it is an act of God, destiny, Karma or just pure coincidence, the one thing that I am very thankful for is that no one was hurt.

Back to the story, it was all the annual all night chanting event at the Seck Kia Eenh Temple, Malacca. Back then I was pretty much part of most major events held at the temple and a regular at the weekly Sunday morning puja session.

Life was much more laid back then and much more less complicated but it still could spring surprises.

I was asked to carry the flag for the walk around the temple ground before the chanting session started. It took me by surprise. Although I was a regular at the temple, I was quite anonymous, I do mingle around, but I am not too involved in any material capacity. A sleeping member? Pretty much so, until that faithful day that is.

Everything went well, and I was at the temple until approximately 11 p.m. and then I headed out to meet a few friends for a drink. That went well too, a few drinks, lots of laugh and as with any Malaysian after a late night outing, we decided to get some food.

We left in 3 different cars - myself, a friend of mine and an outstation friend of my friend. Somehow in the calm silence of the night I noticed a "thumb-down" gesture from someone in a car which I recognise as the the one driven by the "outstation friend".

Ego took over, the race is on and from thereon it is winning the race and nothing else mattered. I was bang on leading the "race" and the conclusion was no where soon on the horizon. Halfway through, one of my passenger, one Mr. P, told me to slow down, he felt uneasy and he asked me to let the car I was racing through. Uncharacteristically I took his advice and his uneasiness was proven true.

Right before my eyes, the car I was racing lost control, swerved and avoided an oncoming car, spun three times, smashed head-on into a lamp post, split a roadside barrier into half, sending one half tumbling 10 feet into the storm drain beside it and finally rested above the remaining half of the barrier.

In that short moment, when I realised what I had just caused, still not knowing the fate of the 4 occupants of the other car, I made a pledge to spend some time in a monastery.

I realised that had I not taken Mr. P's advice it would have been me in that crash, not the car I raced.

Thanks for the advice Mr. P.

As I rushed over to the mangled wreck, I could just pray that no one was killed or seriously injured. Guilt would kill me if anything was to happen to them, it was a huge relief to find out that for my stupid actions no one was seriously injured - the occupants in the wrangled car was safe, the only injury was a small cut to the forehead of the front passenger. 4 lives could have been lost and even more if the driver did not swerve and avoided the oncoming car, a moment where life and death was separated by such a fine margin.

A life changing experience

For the first time in my life, I felt calm, I could close my eyes and see nothing, just plain calmness, such the realisation that no life was lost. The same feeling that I felt when I was in the monastery, it felt really good leaving the worldly temptations behind and the pure sense of detachment from the world - knowing that I was doing no evil or contributing to the worse of the world.

It took quite an event to jolt me into realising how precarious life could be and that it all could have been so different on that not so eventful night.

An act of God, destiny, Karma or just pure coincidence...

One step closer

Dear blog,

I finally obtained my Right of Abode, and I can hereby trully declare myself as a British-Malaysian-Chinese. As complicated as it might sound, to cut the story short, my Mom is British Chinese, I made the application to the British High Comm and it was approved :)

Other than THE British status, what else is in store for me?? Below are a few (or what I might assume):

1. Home student fees for higher education in the UK - Ever notice the distinction made between Home Students and Foreign in your UK Varisity fees brochures?? Yes, the difference is between the bracket of 10 - 25% depending on the courses and varsities which offer it :) So, I am now considered a Home Student and I would enjoy that discount :)

2. Unrestricted access to UK and beyond!: My application coincides with the move by the Her Royal Majesty's Government to tighten entry requirements for 11 non-EU countries and Malaysia is one of those included in the revised procedure list. For one, entry is now based on a merit basis, with XX amount of points given if you are professionally qualified and further pointers if you are etc etc... I bypassed the requirement as I am now considered a British subject! Hooray!!! No hassle to prove that I am qualified (not that I am not!!!) :)

3. Discrimination: Here I assume, I am not too sure whether it is true but according to relayed experience from friends in the UK, employers would prefer not to hire a foreigner who requires a working visa. I would understand their position as you would need to process the visa, get all the documentation sorted out and always be reminded at the back of their heads that the bugger might not see through his contract after all the troubles you went through to secure his visa in the first place. Sounds familliar?? It happens in the EPL all the time!!! :)

4. Doing what I like and not be discriminated: I have a dream, to work for a certain company. It is quite well know, the working environment is nice, the wages acceptable, but there is no glamour in it when you announce it to your uncle and aunties :) Which company is it? What job? I would make an announcement when I secure it. I know, I might still not get the oooohhs and ahhhhs when I let them know, maybe even a little bit of ticking off, but at least I could proudly say I am buying my own place in KL after only 1 year of working in England. Now that's an achievement isn't it? Eventhough I am holding an unglamourous job :)

I think I said enough. This is my first post, plenty more to come :)

Regards,
Ben Lai