When the inevitable finally came true, how shall I respond?

***This post shall be read with my previous post as when read as a standalone, it might project a different meaning than it was intended to. For the aforementioned post, please click here***

















The bitter-sweet pill

A change in 'Relationship Status' on facebook was how the devine power above sunk my heart. From "Being in a relationship with" it now states "Engaged to". I made a promise to myself, and I shall keep it, just as I had kept my previous promise of not objecting the split. The promise was, I shall move on as and when she is engaged.

I made 2 promises on Sept 16, 2008, the day she left, the first was as above, and the second, that from that day on, I shall look back to the days we spent as an item with a smile, with no regret, no pain, just a sense of greatfullness that at least we did spend those precious time together, I shall not again shed a sorrow tear for the relationship.

I must admit, being with her is still the happiest days of my life, period. I know, I used IS in the previous sentence. Yes it was intended and no I am not a stalker nor am I in denial.

Just the 2 of us

Now for the mushy part - days spent just with her and when nothing else mattered. Missing flights, driving around KL and Putrajaya, taking in the KL skyline at Luna Bar and the 2 week road trip from Malacca all the way to Langkawi, memories which until today still lingers on fresh, just like it was yesterday.

Those around me knew that whenever she was in town, not even an earthquake could separate us. She being quite possesive made sure of this, and on my part, knowing that these few days she is in town would mean that when she departs, it would be another 6 months or so before seeing each other and this made me cheerish every second with her.

At times we would just sit in front of the idiot-box and just watch chick-flicks together, catch a standup comedy or two and just order room service so we could have time to ourselves, just the 2 of us and no one else.

At other times, when I was at work, she would keep calling once it is 5.30, pestering me to leave work and be with her, once, she even showed up at my office door!

A scar worth the pain

Infatuation, lust, like two rabbits, call it what you may, I still call it love.

A tough guy I might be, but when it comes to love, I am hopeless, not in the sense that I get all weak-knees or sweaty-palmed, but rather, I do tend to throw caution at the wind and go with my heart instead.

I do believe that the mind could do wonderful things, but it is the heart which is true.

To say that I am not feeling the pain all again would be a lie, an insult to the relationship.

However, I know the pain is just temporary, the wound would heal, time will one day patch it up, the scar would remain, a reminder that cupid indeed strucked me and I was indeed in love.

Another chapter begins, on what might be another beautiful, bitter-sweet relationship ;)

Again, thanks for the sweet memories Lin :)

Regards,
Ben Lai

One step closer

Dear blog,

I finally obtained my Right of Abode, and I can hereby trully declare myself as a British-Malaysian-Chinese. As complicated as it might sound, to cut the story short, my Mom is British Chinese, I made the application to the British High Comm and it was approved :)

Other than THE British status, what else is in store for me?? Below are a few (or what I might assume):

1. Home student fees for higher education in the UK - Ever notice the distinction made between Home Students and Foreign in your UK Varisity fees brochures?? Yes, the difference is between the bracket of 10 - 25% depending on the courses and varsities which offer it :) So, I am now considered a Home Student and I would enjoy that discount :)

2. Unrestricted access to UK and beyond!: My application coincides with the move by the Her Royal Majesty's Government to tighten entry requirements for 11 non-EU countries and Malaysia is one of those included in the revised procedure list. For one, entry is now based on a merit basis, with XX amount of points given if you are professionally qualified and further pointers if you are etc etc... I bypassed the requirement as I am now considered a British subject! Hooray!!! No hassle to prove that I am qualified (not that I am not!!!) :)

3. Discrimination: Here I assume, I am not too sure whether it is true but according to relayed experience from friends in the UK, employers would prefer not to hire a foreigner who requires a working visa. I would understand their position as you would need to process the visa, get all the documentation sorted out and always be reminded at the back of their heads that the bugger might not see through his contract after all the troubles you went through to secure his visa in the first place. Sounds familliar?? It happens in the EPL all the time!!! :)

4. Doing what I like and not be discriminated: I have a dream, to work for a certain company. It is quite well know, the working environment is nice, the wages acceptable, but there is no glamour in it when you announce it to your uncle and aunties :) Which company is it? What job? I would make an announcement when I secure it. I know, I might still not get the oooohhs and ahhhhs when I let them know, maybe even a little bit of ticking off, but at least I could proudly say I am buying my own place in KL after only 1 year of working in England. Now that's an achievement isn't it? Eventhough I am holding an unglamourous job :)

I think I said enough. This is my first post, plenty more to come :)

Regards,
Ben Lai