When emotions gets the better of you... A football fan killed in the aftermath of the game, and sadly so hooligans are back...

Dear all,

**** This blog would be better understood if you read this previous blog of mine in friendster and the points made are consistent with it****

When the past comes back and haunt you

It is unbelievable that even in this age where human were supposed to be at the pinnacle of civilisation, some of us, still live in the age where reasoning and being in control of our emotions was never the case. The case in point was when just yesterday (7/2/10) that a football fan never arrived home after a game! He was killed, killed is the right word to use here as he was indeed attacked and lost his life. God bless his soul and may he R.I.P.... Them hooligans are back and they are NOT welcomed!!! Read about it here.

Passion and Emotion

It is of paramount importance for football fans to have emotions. Football is like being in a relationship with a significant other, if you do notrisk it all, there's no passion, but if you do, then it might come back and hurt you.

Being a Mancunian ever since I knew how to spell Cantona and Kanchelskis, I have attended a few fiery matches myself, but I luckily for me, I have yet to encounter any problems, YET!

The games in question are, Manchester United v. Leeds (The battle of the Roses as it is know, rivalry extends beyond football. Read about it here.) and Manchester United v. Man City which I need not explain:)

The crowds were controlled, no thanks to the additional police personnel employed during the game and at the end of the game all was good as I made my way home other than the occasional snigger and taunt from the opposing team.

Of course when the game was on, chants of utter filth were bellowing from both sets of supporters. Every tackle warranted a booking or a sending off, legitimate or not and players received lots of stick whenever they near the touchline. Just to let you know how serious it was in Old Trafford on both occasion, I have never in my life, seen ladieS, yes plural, ladies old enough to be my grandma (Nan in this part of the world) utter so much filth in such a short period of time! Yeah, even the ladies are part of it, so you know how much passion there is :)

Emotions on the other hand however could prove make or undo a person. Zidane's headbutt was one, Rooney's sending off was one. I have blogged before about this here, but more recent examples could be seen from Carlos Tevez's celebration after scoring against Manchester United after the first leg of the Carling Cup Semi-finals.

Had he kept to his promise of not celebrating when he scored, without any doubt, he would have been given a standing ovation by both set of fans. As much as he is now a Citizen, he gave all when he was a Red Devil and we United supporters are not an ungrateful lot.

That was the IF, but being the emotionally charged idiot he was, he chose to taunt not only Gary Neville, the current United captain (He is the official captain although he doesn't get much of a game nowadays) and also the United fans. From then on, he's Judas, the one who shall never be forgiven and true enough he was taunted and booed every time he touched the ball in the return leg.

From the prospect of being still supported by the same fans who were chanting "Sign him up, sign him up, Fergie, Fergie sign him up" to being jeered by the chants of "Who's that T*** from Argentina, Who's that money grabbing W****, Carlos Tevez is his name, And he doesn't have a game, And he won't be winning trophies anymore!!!" (the later chant which could be viewed and heard here. )

So, Zidane, Rooney and now Tevez, players of undoubted abilities, silky skill, tenacity and terrier-like, talented and share a common trait of being worshiped by many, however they too share the unenviable spot light of losing their temper, letting emotions get the better of them and throwing all away when a moment of calm and suppressing their emotions could have done them much good. As it is, NO, they caved in, the devil within took over and they paid the ultimate price.

What actually happened???

As of now, details are pretty sketchy, I dare not suggest any more than it is reported, however, I could be pretty sure, someone lost their cool. Whether it was the deceased who struck the first blow or his would be killer is irrelevant now. What is relevant is a life was loss so pitifully, just because emotions clouded their judgment.

If indeed the culprit is found guilty, he would have just thrown his life away because of a spur of a moment, he lost his cool and caused a loss of life. In this country, that's manslaughter, and the penalty should be nothing less than a number of years or even decade behind bars.

I am not propagating corporal punishment, but in this case, an example should be made of someone that losing your cool does not pay and I feel it is now right to drive the message to would be offenders, lose your cool and you will be put behind bars.

Again, R.I.P to the deceased, it is unfortunate that the beautiful game should be scarred by another loss of life.

Regards,
Ben Lai

Happy Birthday Facebook!!!

A rude awakening

As with any other day, I start my morning via logging on to (in no particular order) facebook, yahoomail, cnn.com, time.com, soccernet.com and malaysiakini.com to get my morning news and updates.

It now a routine, and I have been doing this (facebook excluded) for the past 6 years or more. So yeah, if I don't do it, my day just started on the backfoot and you better not step on my tail today or you shall be facing a very agitated Ben ;)

And today was one of those day you wouldn't want to meet me. OH YES.... one of the above website is guilty of vioalating the sanctity of my morning ritual and no other than FACEBOOK!!!

WHAT THE HECK???

As I am currently in a different time zone ( -8 hours compared to Malaysia) I would usually log onto my account and then click the "Older Posts" button on the bottom left of the page. This is to catch up with the comings and goings in the life of family and friends at home and of course to post some comments on these photo/status/relationship updates.

However, that wasn't the case for today!

I clicked and clicked but the message "No more updates to be displayed" and the last update on show was last updated 4 hours ago which means all updates from the time I went to bed to 4 hours ago mysteriously went missing!

Logging off didn't help, nor did clearing my cookies and by this point I was quite irritated by this. I decided to proceed with viewing the other websites and it was at cnn.com which I finally found out why. Read all about it here.

So what has changed???

1. Instead of having your request tab on the top right corner, it is now on the top left corner, right under the facebook logo. A smart move from the point of a marketer, but in their defence (facebook has been under heavy criticism for being over marketing their user info in the past) I am glad that I no longer see the adverts being displayed quite prominently on my page.

2. All your apps are now also on the top left side of the page instead of the bottom left, which makes sense but again it has drawn certain criticism of trying to hawk it's games and apps. Again, in facebook's defence, you are using the service for free, so bear with whatever they try to sell to you to make more advertising revenue. If you are not interested, just remove these apps, or block it from appearing on your notification. Unless you are willing to pay, stop whinning! :P

3. The privacy and account setting is now prominently displayed on the top right hand side instead of previously hidden. Makes not much of a difference to me, but with the privacy hoo-ha nowadays, it's a pretty CYA step from facebook.

4. The observant ones might notice there is no No. 4 in the accompanying photo :) However there is another change which was not mentioned, the requirement of a "Photo plug-in" to upload photos. This however would not be discussed here and will be in my next thread tomorrow :)

Conclusion

I am not affected at all at the cosmetic improvements of facebook, but more for the delays and interuptions it causes whenever one of these 'upgrades' take place. I have yet to hear about it on facebook, but from experience, when I used to upgrade my MSN, the cotact list disappears! Even then, I just go to my hotmail address book and recover everything and I am still a loyal MSN (now Window Live) user and until that happens to facebook (which I do not have a contacts backup!) I am more than willing to put up with the niggles and glitch once in a while.

And oh ya, Happy Birthday FACEBOOK!

Regards,

Ben Lai

Giving is caring: Hand-ry gives a helping hand to Haiti

The sinner attempts to redeem himself

A fallen angel of the football world, that's how I would describer Messr. Hand-ry. His mesmerising pace, quick feet and undoubted talent endeared him to the hearts of many football fans, Arsenal or otherwise, the French or the English.

However, it would be his hand-control rather than close-control with his neat footwork which he would always be remembered for.

IF France wins the World Cup, a huge IF, the holy grail of the football world would be forever tainted by those same hands which on a day, many moons ago, when the they eyes of the world was focused on two teams vying to be the final team to reach the World Cup Finals, a player of great gift, used those same hands to cheat!

Forgiven, never forgotten, and never doubt a person's love for life

And now, a helping hand (pun intended) from the same Hand-ry which made the headlines for the wrong reasons a few months back.

Read it here.

I give him the benefit of the doubt, that this donation of his was indeed done in good faith, but I know of some who would say otherwise, that all he is doing now is trying to reverse the damage done. Sincere or with hidden intentions, it is good to see the saints and the devils of the soccerfields did not forget Haiti.

For one, I do believe it's a sincere gift from someone who I will always remember for speed and grace on the field, Thiery Henry, handball or not :)

Regards,

Ben Lai

FOOTBALLERS!!! Come on guys! You can spare 1 day's wages for Haiti!!!

Haiti a tragedy

Not one, but two major quakes to hit such an improvished country. Lying just 700 miles off the US mainland, however the gap in income disparity is way way larger than the water which separates the two land.

There have been a lot of calls to help, with the US leading the way and not suprising, twitter and facebook.

And it is nice to see that plenty of idols helping out, with White Cleft Jean being the most prominent.

Footballers are rising to the call

Sometime last week, the Germans took the first initiative. The national team, the GBL teams and even Audi & Volkswagen chipped in. Read more of it here .

It is heartwarming to see such a gesture, moreover since footballers are usually branded as nice cribs-flashy cars-spoilled brats. And guess what, not only the footballers are getting involved. Fan initiatives are urging these footballers too.

Diego "Forlone" Forlan

Forgive me for the title above.

In no way I am taking a dig at Forlan himself, but to those detractors who wrote him off when he was offloaded from MU. I like him, he reminds me of Tevez, willing to run, scores an occasional goal and being South American, has flair in his blood.

Forlone no longer, with a European Golden Boot in hand (which he shares with one very prominent Samuel E'to) and with apparently Barca looking at him, I guess a change of climate did make him a better player.

What more suprising is this: HE WAS THE FIRST TO RESPOND TO FANS CALLS TO DONATE A DAY'S WAGE TO ASSIST HAITI! YES HE DID!!!

Read more about it here.

Forlan, as ever, you amaze others around you, humble, never one for the spotlight and an honest, hard working model professional. Kudos to you, and to those who used to call you Forlone, I guess they must be choking themselves now ;)

Regards,

Ben Lai

RESIGN SIR ALEX: Would Sir Alex lead us us to victory?

This morning while getting my daily dose of football updates I was taken aback by an article calling for Sir Alex to resign!

To common football fans or non-football fans, just reading the title of the said article alone might be a little misleading. Read further and you will see why.

Football clubs are more than profit!

A club of Manchester United (even Chelsea, Liverpool, Arsenal) is more than a profit making machine. It's a revered as a religion, it's something that connect with the fans and it was put into its current zenith standing by the fans.

Ever since these major buy-outs by foreign owners, experts in the football and business world alike have given their own views about the intentions and viability of such purchases. Not only the top-4 and BPL clubs were subject of these LBO (Leveraged Buy-Out), QPR, Notts County, Newcastle, West Ham, Man City and Pompey and more recently the buzz is even BPL chaser, Cardiff might soon be in private ownership.

The success of these takeover varied, of course, with a change of owner, the fans would be reasonable to expect that these new owners would pump in money, invest in infrastructures, get new players (even managers) and hopefully propel these clubs into greater heights. This is true to some extent for Chelsea and Arsenal, with new training facility (Chelsea) and a new stadia (Arsenal) and a lot of coming and goings in the playing staffs (turnstile managers and countless big name signings for Chelsea and Man City).

On the other end, you have basket cases like Newcastle, West Ham, Pompey and the worse of the lot Notts County.

Basket cases - Who's to blame (Or rather WHO THE HELL ARE YOU???)?

There's lots of finger pointing, the blame game, or passing the buck(et) as they call it in the US - the League admin, the previous owners and of course the new owners themselves, 3 different parties but at the center of this blame game is the issue of transparency of ownership. Take Notts, with Qabak investment listed as their owners, no one knows where the funding comes from nor the ultimate identity of the shareholders of this investment vehicle (an accounting term). Also, the merry go round of owners for Portsmouth, what a pity that a club which as recent as 2 seasons ago lifted the FA Cup only to see it now languishing at the bottom of the table with 7/8th of its Cup winning squad now plying their trade elsewhere!

Let's see what each of the 3 accused above could have done more to avert the current agony:

The League

There is so called 'fit an proper test' which applies to directors of clubs and since owners appoint directors it would be fair to assume that the owner themselves are subjected to such a test. I am not saying that the League failed in applying this rule, but the process could be done in a more transparent manner, with the outcome (not the details) of the assesment to be made public to assure the fans that indeed the owners are reputable and are indeed 'fit and proper'.

The previous owners

They form part of the transaction and to a certain extent should be hold a certain level of responsibility if the club fails after the takeover. Did they dispose off the club to the highest bidder? Or did they dispose the club to the party which serves the best interest of the club? Were there proposals tabled by these parties? Secured financing? I am pretty very sure these were in place when Ken Bates (now at Leeds United) divested his stake in Chelsea to Czar Roman, but what about Notts, Newcastle, West Ham and Pompey?

New owners

You came, you bought and you think you have conquered, but it is far from job done once the ink on the agreement dries. There's still plenty to do, and lets start by revealing who the heck you are and the plans for the club! More often than not, huge promises were made by these owners which they fail to follow up, and when there's trouble, the *poof* and just vanish into thin air (Pompey, West Ham, Notts County and to a certain extent Newcastle)!

Manchester United: What next???

I must applaud the Americans (Notice that I never once call them by name, I shall NOT!) for being transparent, however, loading the club with so much debt will hamper our growth and is no way to run a club. You are basically taking hard earn money, monies paid throughout these honest, hard working fans lives to support a team they love and finance the purchase of the club! The move should have been blocked, just like when Sky tried to purchase us many years ago. NO WAY it should remain in private hands, we were self sufficient, we have success and there was no need for any change, not least to be used as a mortage to finance some silly American dream!

I have a gut feeling that Sir Alex would love to have Tevez in red rather than the blue of the other half of Manchester. I believe the lack of funding was the key issue. Here's how I arrive at my conclusion: Although he tried his best to support the owners and with the the 3 stooges themselves coming out and openly declaring that the 80 million received for the sale of CR7 is still there if Fergie needs it, the recent financial statements of the club reveals otherwise. A loss of 49 million before taking into account the Ronaldo windfall is surely a course of concern. The timing of the restructuring exercise, which is supposed to release funds to Fergie further contradicts the availability of the 80 million war chest. As much as we hate to be compared with Liverfool (intended) we are indeed in a simillar position as they are, chocked out of the transfer market because of some stupid American who came with a LBO (Loads of Bullshit Offer).

United was built by the fans and of course a great manager, we dont need no YANKS to screw us up and impeed our growth now. As a Knight, and a person of which the fans would always associate with United, be it now, be it 100 years to come, I too plead for Sir Alex to resign just like Kevin Keegan did at Newcastle. Let the club take a fall if that is what is needed to drive those profiteering Americans out of Old Trafford.

We could have done it without you Sir Alex, please do not let our dreams fizzle, please lead us to victory over them YANKS!!!

Regards,

Ben Lai

When the inevitable finally came true, how shall I respond?

***This post shall be read with my previous post as when read as a standalone, it might project a different meaning than it was intended to. For the aforementioned post, please click here***

















The bitter-sweet pill

A change in 'Relationship Status' on facebook was how the devine power above sunk my heart. From "Being in a relationship with" it now states "Engaged to". I made a promise to myself, and I shall keep it, just as I had kept my previous promise of not objecting the split. The promise was, I shall move on as and when she is engaged.

I made 2 promises on Sept 16, 2008, the day she left, the first was as above, and the second, that from that day on, I shall look back to the days we spent as an item with a smile, with no regret, no pain, just a sense of greatfullness that at least we did spend those precious time together, I shall not again shed a sorrow tear for the relationship.

I must admit, being with her is still the happiest days of my life, period. I know, I used IS in the previous sentence. Yes it was intended and no I am not a stalker nor am I in denial.

Just the 2 of us

Now for the mushy part - days spent just with her and when nothing else mattered. Missing flights, driving around KL and Putrajaya, taking in the KL skyline at Luna Bar and the 2 week road trip from Malacca all the way to Langkawi, memories which until today still lingers on fresh, just like it was yesterday.

Those around me knew that whenever she was in town, not even an earthquake could separate us. She being quite possesive made sure of this, and on my part, knowing that these few days she is in town would mean that when she departs, it would be another 6 months or so before seeing each other and this made me cheerish every second with her.

At times we would just sit in front of the idiot-box and just watch chick-flicks together, catch a standup comedy or two and just order room service so we could have time to ourselves, just the 2 of us and no one else.

At other times, when I was at work, she would keep calling once it is 5.30, pestering me to leave work and be with her, once, she even showed up at my office door!

A scar worth the pain

Infatuation, lust, like two rabbits, call it what you may, I still call it love.

A tough guy I might be, but when it comes to love, I am hopeless, not in the sense that I get all weak-knees or sweaty-palmed, but rather, I do tend to throw caution at the wind and go with my heart instead.

I do believe that the mind could do wonderful things, but it is the heart which is true.

To say that I am not feeling the pain all again would be a lie, an insult to the relationship.

However, I know the pain is just temporary, the wound would heal, time will one day patch it up, the scar would remain, a reminder that cupid indeed strucked me and I was indeed in love.

Another chapter begins, on what might be another beautiful, bitter-sweet relationship ;)

Again, thanks for the sweet memories Lin :)

Regards,
Ben Lai

A broken heart, a broad smile ;)

Pain, painfulness...

Ever lived your life a certain way and when circumstances changed abruptly you find yourself being a little lost?

Sometime a year ago, a flame in me died. It might sound harsh to word it so, but indeed a light which I built my life around and which kept me warm and guided me through almost 5 years of my life dimmed and doused itself out.

I felt excruciating pain, pain beyond words, pain which only time would heal and after that an emptiness, a void in my heart.

As daft as it sound, it was as if the sky just crashed down on me.

It was not that I did not see it coming. I read the signs well, I even tried my best to change the outcome, but I was in no power nor position to change it. I had to keep my word, and by doing so, let her go.

But once the reality sunk in, about a week or so after the last kiss at the terminal, a hug and best wishes, 'Bye' was the word last spoken, not 'See you', the love of my life is no longer mine, and I had to accept it, be it I like it or not.

Love = pain. Correct?

Excruciating, emptiness, void, very negative words, for what to many was certainly an event to forget. Most would expect words like hate, never again, distrust and cheat to litter the rest of this article, but you shall not see these words :)

Feeling pain on separation is proof that I did love. Not only I loved, I was loved. Let me explain. I see love as something like a poker game, when you do not risk everything, it just doesn't feel right, but when you do, it has the tendency to hurt you.

And I indeed gave and risked everything for our relationship and thus the pain I felt, pain as described above.

Forget how much I committed to the relationship, and forget the pain, more important is what happened next? Read on.

Looking back with a smile :)

Before I go any further, I am an optimist. Even in the worse of situation I will look for the positives and always draw strength from them to carry me forward. I believe that if you look hard enough, you could find some good in everything and everyone. Also, life is too short to be negative, bitter or hate.

For the reasons above, I could now still look back at our relationship and smile :) Yes, not a conventional reaction, but one that I chose. Why look for the negatives in a past relationship? A relationship is between two human, two incomplete and imperfect human, where one or the other or even both would make mistakes. Forgive, forget and move on. Which I did.

However, I held on to the sweet memories, memories which even now, a year on, when I look back at I could afford to smile. I am grateful and thankful that we met, that we spent some wonderful time together, stuck through thick and thin and in the end when things did not work out, we did not end it in an ugly manner, we met, we talked, promises were kept and we said goodbye. It was a beautiful relationship, one which left a mark on me, pretty much like a tattoo, there was a period of pain, but thereafter, sweet memories which would stay forever.

Thanks for the sweet memories :)

Regards,

Ben Lai